3/15/10
I have some days where I am given the grace of stepping back and seeing just how far I've come. I remember the first day I arrived…everything was new, the food was different, I had no clue what to expect. Today I was freed from a brief struggle about what my mission duties are. I was caught up in my fresh-out-of-college, American efficiency mindset, and all I could see was that the past 2 months or so have been spent doing random things.
All I could see was that I have only 2 steady, consistent students who have actually made progress (Sr. Rose and Fr. Antoine). I kept thinking about all kinds of "what if's" or "if only I had done this…" and imagining up false realities that are not what my true mission experience has been. But in Mass, I received a great reassurance that His will for me is to do those small tasks around school. He wants me to be an on-the-spot subber, to give students notes, to teach English when it’s the hardest group who is afraid to talk, to play with the kids and to organize the books in the secretariat. His will for me is to fill in those little gaps. And He does want me to continue being a friend. I guess that is the one thing I feel that I have been able to do – be a friendly presence.
I haven't rendered anyone fluent, I haven't brought any great strides to anybody's English ability (except for Fr. A, he'll testify otherwise…what a great man) and I haven't made any sweeping changes in anything. But I know that by the grace of God, I have simply brought my presence. Kids know me, they dance Chin Chin when the see me, the old ladies with their igitambalo's and walking sticks see me every day in their church, and the Animators and other friends greet me often. I need to acknowledge the beauty of the simple ministry of presence. This is, I'm just now realizing, what Fr. Alfredo of the Xaverian Missionaries advised me right before I left.
What a wise man, and I barely even know him. God truly works through him.
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