May 3, a very awesome day.

This was a great day, so great that I wrote it down so that I can record it accurately now two months later! First, I went to Mass in the morning and saw an old friend, John Paul. He was one of the brighter, more confident English students I had during vacation when I first arrived. I saw him occasionally after Mass and we’d always chat. He should be in form 5 (junior year of high school), but he can’t afford the school fees. He said he is trying to work and earn the money to study next year. He actually told me that he wants to enter hotellerie and study at the Sisters’ school next year. The last time we talked, he was going to Kigali to look for a job at a restaurant or hotel. On this particular day, he was back in Gisenyi and had found a job at a cabaret. That is really good for someone who wants to go into hotel management, to have that kind of experience on your resume, even before completing the internship he’ll have to do as part of his hotellerie training. So anyways, we were talking about that and probably just other random stuff, when all of a sudden his face gets a huge smile on it and he says, “Ah Jacqui! I do not know if I can say that I like you or if I love you!” I don’t even know what I said that would bring out this kind of reaction! But I just laughed and thanked him.


Later that day, I had the most wonderful outing in town. First, I’ll have to explain last night’s happenings. Sunday night at 10:30pm, I receive a phone call from Frere (Brother) Alexandre. He had recently started coming to study English on Saturdays with Sr. Rose. He really knows little English, so we mostly spoke French outside of the classroom. That past Saturday, we reviewed vocabulary concerning recreation/sports/leisure activities. One vocab word was “to go out to eat.” Frere asks me if he and I can go out to eat. I instantly knew he was joking, because I figured religious Brothers are pretty similar to Sisters, in that they take vows of poverty, they don’t have money to go spend gallivanting about, and they have to obey the rules of living in community with others. So I jokingly agreed. He takes this joke even further and picks a day and time when we will meet up. I again jokingly agree. Then we proceeded with the rest of the lesson.

So the next day, Sunday, at 10:30pm, he calls me. I’m almost in bed and I’m super confused, again because I figured Brothers have to wake up super early like Sisters do, so why is he calling me so late?? Here’s how the conversation went (the original was in French though, making it all the more interesting to figure out what he meant):

Frere: What happened to you today?

Me: What do you mean?

Frere: You did not come to go eat.

Me: Oh goodness I’m so sorry…(sarcasm, still thinking he’s joking)

Frere: I waited and waited, and you did not come.

Me: Oh really! (laughing)

Frere: Yes, I even refused an invitation from someone else because I thought we had plans.

Me: Are you serious? (starting to wonder if he was actually not joking)

Frere: Yes, yes! I was ready to go out to eat with you! But you did not come. This is a big problem.

Me: Wait wait, you are serious? I thought you were joking!

Frere: No, I don’t joke! In general, I don’t joke. If I were joking, I would verify that you knew it was a joke. But I was serious, and you missed our plans. It’s a big, big problem.

Me: (laughing, now incredulous, but still responding with humor and a bit of sarcasm) Oh goodness. Well what can I do?

Frere: You need to make it up somehow.

Me: Ok you know what? Tomorrow I need to go into town, so I will come and visit you.

Frere: Ok. And you must bring an “amande.”

Me: What is an “amande?”

Frere: You don’t know this word? It is something you bring to reconcile when you have made a very serious mistake. So you must bring an amande.

Me: (laughing) ok fine, I’ll come and visit and I’ll bring an amande.

Frere: Ok, that will be fine. Sorry to bother you so late! Good night.

I hung up and was still laughing to myself in the incredulity of this whole situation. But after our phone call I was certain that I actually did have to go visit Frere and bring an “amande,” he wasn’t joking about it!
So on Monday after school, I went into town because I actually had some things I needed to buy. I was planning to bring samboosa, a local specialty – a triangle shaped fried piece of dough filled with a mix of meat and sometimes veggies. I knew just where I had to go to buy them, so that made me feel really independent, as if I were one of the locals. On my way, I ran into three people that I knew! It was so cool, I stopped and talked to all of them for a minute, and I again felt very at-home, like I truly belong here in Gisenyi. Then I headed on towards the Brothers’ compound, and shared samboosa with Frere. We laughed and chatted for at least an hour, and another Sister from a different congregation also stopped by. It turns out I met her once before when Sr. Charlotte and I were by the lake and I had to pee. So we stopped by there and I used their toilet, and we ended up staying there basically the whole afternoon, just chatting, drinking Fanta, and even eating lunch (we hadn’t eaten, and they were just itching to feed us). So it was nice to see this Sister again, and she said I must come visit them again before I left (but unfortunately I never did get this chance). I finished my visit with Frere, and started walking the block or so back into town where I would pick up a moto. Sr. Gisele called me and asked me to stop by the Virunga office to see if a package came for her, and she asked if I could pick up a few grocery items from the store. I felt, again, so amazingly at home! The fact that my superiors are entrusting me with errand-running, and that I even knew exactly which stores she meant, was such an awesome realization! I felt very Rwandaise  :)

That evening, after all the dishes were done and most of the Sisters were either going to bed or checking their email or something, I agreed to help remove the braids that Jo had in her hair but were getting to annoying for her. It was such a nice sisterly, almost slumber party-like evening! I stayed up till probably 11:30pm taking her braids out, and we just talked and talked. I remember that Jo was telling me more about the genocide, how the ideologies are perpetuated by the intellectuals. She said university students tend to hang out in ethnic-based groups, and if a Tutsi comes over to try starting a conversation with somebody in a Hutu group, the others will shun that person and scold him/her for associating with the Tutsi. She told me the story shared by one of the men who gave his testimony at Rubavu’s memorial service a few weeks back, during the national memorial period. She said that he had no one left, and that he saw his own mother tortured in the street. They stripped all her clothes off her, and shoved a pole inside of her until it came out her mouth. I couldn’t believe my ears and was revolted at the thought of it. The rest of the conversation was unsettling because she told me about how things look pretty good from my outsider’s perspective. But in reality, grudges between people, between families, between ethnic groups do exist deep below the surface. But she reaffirmed the goodness found within the people we work with. She said that the teachers sometimes get into heated arguments about ethnic thinking, but that they do not possess any hatred. She told me that Pascale is really a very good person, a good Christian. He had the courage to say out loud, “Jo, what we did to you Tutsis was very terrible.” That is really something. Though he probably never did any harm during the genocide, he is acknowledging it and even bringing it to awareness in the workplace. I admire him greatly. Even though the conversation Jo and I had was quite serious and intense, we still had a very nice time just talking. We joked and laughed a fair amount too. I really treasure these kinds of bond-making memories with my Rwandan sister, Jo!

Easter

On Holy Saturday, we were all busy decorating the house with “Alleluia”s and hand-made Easter candle cut-outs. Maria came over to help color Easter candles for the church. It was a very joyful time. When lunchtime rolled around, I found a nicely wrapped, silver package at a place at the table. No other places had any special presents…I was very curious…no to/from tag…what could it be? I picked a seat at a different spot, but Sr. Gisele told me that one (with the gift) was mine. Hmmm…well, when everyone was gathered at the table, they all beckoned me to open it. So I did, and out popped the dress that Pascale had been making for Jo! A while back, she had asked me if Pascale could use my measurements to make a dress for her friend in Kigali, who was the same size as me. She showed me the fabric, which I loved, and Pascale even had me try on the dress after he had nearly finished it. I was so excited about it, mostly because I saw how beautiful his creations were, he now had my measurements, and he was almost finished with Jo’s order. This meant he could soon begin one for me. I had even given money to Mama Bora to buy me a pagne. Well now I see this dress wrapped up as a little gift! My first thought: “Oh. So Jo is gonna have Pascale make another one for her friend, and she’s giving this one to me?” My confusion must have shown on my face, because Jo immediately explained. “You are my friend Jacqui! There is nobody in Kigali who is waiting for a dress…I tricked you!” Ah! All along it was for me and I was totally oblivious!

That evening I wore the dress to the Easter Vigil Mass. It felt like my first day outside of the compound – overly aware of people staring at me. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb because I was dressed so traditionally. But I was proud of it, and I was happy to sport a Rwandan fashion that my dear Rwandan friend had given me. But I was still too sheepish to leave my sweater behind…it was cold outside, and wearing a typical American fleece over the shoulders made it less obvious, I thought. Sr. Charlotte yelled at me for that. “Next time, you won’t wear that. It’s beautiful, show it off!”

The Easter Vigil Mass itself was pretty awesome. Maria was in town, and I was hoping to sit by her, but we didn’t find each other in time. Mass actually started like 20 minutes late, still not sure why. Everyone began outside to see the large grill that served as a fire pit. Everybody was already looking in the direction of our convent since that was the direction of the firepit, so naturally everyone noticed me as I walked to join the mob. It soon started to rain, so everyone crowded under the overhang of the church, which seemed much too small to fit everybody. But somehow very few people got uncomfortably wet, it seemed. Fr. Valens and the altar servers (lots of them) finally began their procession, lighted the Easter candle, passed the light around to the candles that individual people were holding (you had to bring your own), and everyone proceeded into the dark church. I was certain that someone was going to get their clothes or hair singed! But no one did :)

Mass was about 3 hours long, but it was really nice. Sr. Charlotte and I sat next to a 3e Hotellerie student, Françoise, and her 2 kids, Chancey and Lucky. Chancey fell asleep in Sr. Charlotte’s lap! I think the power didn’t come on when it was supposed to, so we didn’t have the nice darkness-to-light transformation. But it was still a beautiful atmosphere having the church dimly lit throughout the entire Mass. There was lots of singing, accompanied by off-beat drumming. Everyone was expecting a second Thanksgiving song, but we only did one. Afterwards, the drummers were outside performing some nice tunes. Fr. Antoine and Fr. Valens invited us back to the rectory for some celebration. The Sisters had been working all day to prepare a delicious feast for after Mass, and we were all hungry, and it was past 11pm. But out of politeness, Sr. Charlotte, Sr. Rose, and I agreed to go. We shared some stories, jokes, Fanta, and typical snacks of peanuts, cheese cubes, and then briochette (really tough meat on a stick, only on special occasions). But, Sr. Gisele didn’t show up! She called to give some excuse (which I can’t remember, but I think it was clever). When we got home she was with Aline, who had to spend her spring vacation with us because she doesn’t have any family left to go home to. When the rest of us came home, we laughed like crazy at them – they said they were just too hungry and wanted to get home to feast! So at nearly midnight, the rest of us heated up a plate and sat down to watch an Easter program on one of our three TV channels.

We went to Easter Sunday Mass the following morning, as I hurried to finish setting the table all pretty for when we returned. I gave everyone a candybar from the package Mom mailed me! I again wore my dress, and I saw Pascale at Mass, who seemed very proud of his work. Rightly so. I also got to see Fabrice, Edouard, and Jean d’Amour, home on break! I hung out and chatted with them for a while. The rest of my Easter Sunday afternoon was so much fun. After our delicious and very relaxed meal, we peeled 50 kg of carrots. It was so much fun. All of the Sisters, Aline, and me were all sitting in the outside part of our kitchen. Sr. Gisele was cleaning fish, and the rest of us were peeling the most enormous pile of carrots that I had ever seen. We told jokes, practiced English, and sang some songs. I taught them the picnic basket game, where you have to say “I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing…” and you have to say something starting with a certain letter of the alphabet, remembering all the previous people’s items. It was a really good practice exercise for Jo and Aline, and everybody cracked up when I said I’m bringing “nukwihangana” when “n” conveniently fell to me. This is a Kinyarwanda word meaning “to be patient,” but for some reason it became a huge inside joke in the convent. We said it ALL the time, usually after the phrase “ah ha,” to express surprise or shock, and now it lost all sense of meaning “to be patient.” It was and always will be the source of many laughs. Eventually some of the Sisters had to go do things, so it was just Jo, Aline, and me. Aline had been singing the Abba song “I believe in angels,” claiming that there is some Rwandan band that sings it. I argued with her about the artist, and mentioned the movie Mama Mia. Soon enough, I had my laptop outside with the movie playing, giving brief explanations of what was happening in the movie. We watched the rest of it as we finished peeling carrots! It was so much fun.

All of the next week was also vacation. Unfortunately, I had a heartbreaking moment when I greeted Samuel who came to work with the others who work to pay for their school fees. I asked him if he had a good Easter, and he gave me the biggest smile ever, but responded “No, it was very bad.” I replied “Oh no, why?” Again with the same big smile, he replied “Well, I am not sick, but I have nothing to put in my (pats stomach).” I simply replied “Oh no, that’s not good…” not knowing what I could say. I wrestled with this for a long time…what should I do? I can’t give him food that belongs to the Sisters without their permission. I had a few candybars, but I felt that giving him candy was not the solution. The Sisters needed to know about his situation in order to help him in the long run. So I mentioned it to Sr. Gisele, as clearly as possible, but still with some difficulty because it was hard for me to get the words out without tearing up. She said that we can give him some potatoes at the end of the day to take home. I instantly felt relief that I had done my part, but still unsettled that he would have to work the whole day before getting those potatoes. I didn’t want Sr. Gisele to forget about him either, so I reminded her a few times throughout the day. It turned out somehow they missed each other, because he went home before picking up the potatoes, and I felt terrible. But I knew that my telling her about him was the best I could do, because they could continue to give what they could to help his family in the future.

my job duties across these 7 months

Throughout my 7 months in Gisenyi, I did a bunch of different jobs.  The most important quality of a volunteer at a Salesian school, I've found, is FLEXIBILITY!  You've got to be ready for anything, at any time, for any length of time.  Here's a synopsis of my job duties throughout my mission experience:

1) Patronage Kids camp counselor – dance, sing, clap, run around, make goofy faces at kids. Pretty much that was all I could do since I didn’t know the language!

2) Teaching English to the local teens during Patronage – super fun atmosphere, but not without teaching difficulties. Playing crazy acting games to learn adverbs, zumbaing after every class, getting bombarded with questions about America and about the meanings of random words that the students found in books.

3) Teaching one of my best friends, Fr. Antoine. By the end of the 7 months, we had our lesson down to a science – 6 parts: 1) opening prayer in English 2) “sharing,” as Fr. Antoine called it, basically just talking about the day 3) reading tomorrow’s Mass readings 4) “sharing” aka discussing the readings, or me happily listening to Fr. Antoine get caught up in his passion, which is God 5) Singing a song or two in English, we learned several 6) closing prayer, sometimes also singing the Veni Creator in Latin.

4) Making tea for the teachers during their training before the academic year began. I also taught English to a small group of more advanced teachers, which sometimes involved a few “English marathons,” in which Sr. Gisele couldn’t be there so I ended up teaching English the entire day.

5) On-the-spot subbing, my most difficult job. Actually I was a somewhat scheduled sub as well, since a few teachers did know the days they’d be gone. But many also were simply unable to make it on an given day, due to any number of reasons. So, I would have to go teach English or give the original teachers notes for an unspecified length of time. Not easy, but builds patience and obedience. A lot.

6) Exam secretary – removing staples, counting and coallating, proctoring exams and trying to prevent cheating, although it was still shockingly rampant.

7) Library organizer – putting a number to each book, then having to re-do it all because I realized I had the system all wrong. Whoops.

8) Zumba teacher – every Tuesday at 11am at school! Plus with other groups of kids at the parish occasionally. My favorite part :)

9) Art director – making posters for the church’s feast days, making banners for the school’s celebrations, decorating the school and convent for celebrations. I liked this job…who doesn’t like to step aside from their original job because there’s coloring that needs doing?

10) Giving a few “Good Mornings,” the inspirational note given by one of the Sisters or teachers each morning to the students.

11) Still doing a bit of occasional subbing by the end of my service, but it was not nearly as frequent or as difficult as earlier.

12) Visiting other parts of Rwanda, making friends, being a visitor, yet living like a resident of Gisenyi!