May 3, a very awesome day.

This was a great day, so great that I wrote it down so that I can record it accurately now two months later! First, I went to Mass in the morning and saw an old friend, John Paul. He was one of the brighter, more confident English students I had during vacation when I first arrived. I saw him occasionally after Mass and we’d always chat. He should be in form 5 (junior year of high school), but he can’t afford the school fees. He said he is trying to work and earn the money to study next year. He actually told me that he wants to enter hotellerie and study at the Sisters’ school next year. The last time we talked, he was going to Kigali to look for a job at a restaurant or hotel. On this particular day, he was back in Gisenyi and had found a job at a cabaret. That is really good for someone who wants to go into hotel management, to have that kind of experience on your resume, even before completing the internship he’ll have to do as part of his hotellerie training. So anyways, we were talking about that and probably just other random stuff, when all of a sudden his face gets a huge smile on it and he says, “Ah Jacqui! I do not know if I can say that I like you or if I love you!” I don’t even know what I said that would bring out this kind of reaction! But I just laughed and thanked him.


Later that day, I had the most wonderful outing in town. First, I’ll have to explain last night’s happenings. Sunday night at 10:30pm, I receive a phone call from Frere (Brother) Alexandre. He had recently started coming to study English on Saturdays with Sr. Rose. He really knows little English, so we mostly spoke French outside of the classroom. That past Saturday, we reviewed vocabulary concerning recreation/sports/leisure activities. One vocab word was “to go out to eat.” Frere asks me if he and I can go out to eat. I instantly knew he was joking, because I figured religious Brothers are pretty similar to Sisters, in that they take vows of poverty, they don’t have money to go spend gallivanting about, and they have to obey the rules of living in community with others. So I jokingly agreed. He takes this joke even further and picks a day and time when we will meet up. I again jokingly agree. Then we proceeded with the rest of the lesson.

So the next day, Sunday, at 10:30pm, he calls me. I’m almost in bed and I’m super confused, again because I figured Brothers have to wake up super early like Sisters do, so why is he calling me so late?? Here’s how the conversation went (the original was in French though, making it all the more interesting to figure out what he meant):

Frere: What happened to you today?

Me: What do you mean?

Frere: You did not come to go eat.

Me: Oh goodness I’m so sorry…(sarcasm, still thinking he’s joking)

Frere: I waited and waited, and you did not come.

Me: Oh really! (laughing)

Frere: Yes, I even refused an invitation from someone else because I thought we had plans.

Me: Are you serious? (starting to wonder if he was actually not joking)

Frere: Yes, yes! I was ready to go out to eat with you! But you did not come. This is a big problem.

Me: Wait wait, you are serious? I thought you were joking!

Frere: No, I don’t joke! In general, I don’t joke. If I were joking, I would verify that you knew it was a joke. But I was serious, and you missed our plans. It’s a big, big problem.

Me: (laughing, now incredulous, but still responding with humor and a bit of sarcasm) Oh goodness. Well what can I do?

Frere: You need to make it up somehow.

Me: Ok you know what? Tomorrow I need to go into town, so I will come and visit you.

Frere: Ok. And you must bring an “amande.”

Me: What is an “amande?”

Frere: You don’t know this word? It is something you bring to reconcile when you have made a very serious mistake. So you must bring an amande.

Me: (laughing) ok fine, I’ll come and visit and I’ll bring an amande.

Frere: Ok, that will be fine. Sorry to bother you so late! Good night.

I hung up and was still laughing to myself in the incredulity of this whole situation. But after our phone call I was certain that I actually did have to go visit Frere and bring an “amande,” he wasn’t joking about it!
So on Monday after school, I went into town because I actually had some things I needed to buy. I was planning to bring samboosa, a local specialty – a triangle shaped fried piece of dough filled with a mix of meat and sometimes veggies. I knew just where I had to go to buy them, so that made me feel really independent, as if I were one of the locals. On my way, I ran into three people that I knew! It was so cool, I stopped and talked to all of them for a minute, and I again felt very at-home, like I truly belong here in Gisenyi. Then I headed on towards the Brothers’ compound, and shared samboosa with Frere. We laughed and chatted for at least an hour, and another Sister from a different congregation also stopped by. It turns out I met her once before when Sr. Charlotte and I were by the lake and I had to pee. So we stopped by there and I used their toilet, and we ended up staying there basically the whole afternoon, just chatting, drinking Fanta, and even eating lunch (we hadn’t eaten, and they were just itching to feed us). So it was nice to see this Sister again, and she said I must come visit them again before I left (but unfortunately I never did get this chance). I finished my visit with Frere, and started walking the block or so back into town where I would pick up a moto. Sr. Gisele called me and asked me to stop by the Virunga office to see if a package came for her, and she asked if I could pick up a few grocery items from the store. I felt, again, so amazingly at home! The fact that my superiors are entrusting me with errand-running, and that I even knew exactly which stores she meant, was such an awesome realization! I felt very Rwandaise  :)

That evening, after all the dishes were done and most of the Sisters were either going to bed or checking their email or something, I agreed to help remove the braids that Jo had in her hair but were getting to annoying for her. It was such a nice sisterly, almost slumber party-like evening! I stayed up till probably 11:30pm taking her braids out, and we just talked and talked. I remember that Jo was telling me more about the genocide, how the ideologies are perpetuated by the intellectuals. She said university students tend to hang out in ethnic-based groups, and if a Tutsi comes over to try starting a conversation with somebody in a Hutu group, the others will shun that person and scold him/her for associating with the Tutsi. She told me the story shared by one of the men who gave his testimony at Rubavu’s memorial service a few weeks back, during the national memorial period. She said that he had no one left, and that he saw his own mother tortured in the street. They stripped all her clothes off her, and shoved a pole inside of her until it came out her mouth. I couldn’t believe my ears and was revolted at the thought of it. The rest of the conversation was unsettling because she told me about how things look pretty good from my outsider’s perspective. But in reality, grudges between people, between families, between ethnic groups do exist deep below the surface. But she reaffirmed the goodness found within the people we work with. She said that the teachers sometimes get into heated arguments about ethnic thinking, but that they do not possess any hatred. She told me that Pascale is really a very good person, a good Christian. He had the courage to say out loud, “Jo, what we did to you Tutsis was very terrible.” That is really something. Though he probably never did any harm during the genocide, he is acknowledging it and even bringing it to awareness in the workplace. I admire him greatly. Even though the conversation Jo and I had was quite serious and intense, we still had a very nice time just talking. We joked and laughed a fair amount too. I really treasure these kinds of bond-making memories with my Rwandan sister, Jo!