12/31/09 – Pretty much the best way to spend New Year's Eve
I had a stellar last-day-of-2009 today. It began this morning after Mass, when Martha, one of the students at the Sisters' school who comes to work for them during the day, said to me "Jacqui, I saw you dancing like this. (does the little arm motion that people often do during the thanksgiving song). I'll teach you to dance!" I replied with enthusiastic acceptance of this offer. Later that afternoon when she had finished her work around the yard, we went into the little parlor and she taught me the feet and arms for a really traditional Rwandan dance. And we sang this song that John has taught me part of and still needs to teach me the rest of. It was basically one of my dreams coming true – to dance a Rwandan dance, with a Rwandan friend, in Rwanda! I can't describe how happy I was.
Before this dancing, the Animators had a meeting with the Father's, and for some reason I was thinking of not going. I wanted to go greet all of them, but maybe I could just leave when they begin their business. I knew it would be long and all in Kinyarwanda, and I think I was assuming that the Animators were wondering why I even bother coming to these things since I don't understand anything. So when Sr. Charlotte said, "No, all of our meetings are always long and in Kinyarwanda! But your presence is very important." it really snapped me back into reality. Duh, of course there have been countless other meetings that I have attended and just sat patiently and prayed the rosary for the group. Why should this time be any different? And why am I so preoccupied with what I think others are thinking? Odds are #1 – I'm wrong about what they're thinking, and #2 – it doesn't matter what other people think. So I went. It started an hour late, typical, and I had a really nice and peaceful time praying for everybody. It actually was a great reflection for me. As I thanked God for each Animator, I remembered when I first met all of them, and I realized how well I know them now. It’s a beautiful thing.
Now, the real fun happened as we were all hanging out after this meeting. Sr. Charlotte was talking to one of the Fathers, so we were all just waiting outside. This is positively delightful…somehow we got to the topic of discussing birthdays. Edouard said he was born in 1990, and at first I thought this can't possibly be right because I thought he was older. But then I realized that actually this is a pretty reasonable date. This guy remembers everything, including the name of my hometown and the names of my family members. He always asks me "and how is Father Jessica?" I explained to him that my father's name is not Jessica, this is my sister.
He was very insulted that I thought that he made this mistake…it turns out that in Kinyarwanda when you refer to a person's parents, its polite to call them Father [child's name] or Mother [child's name]. But anyways, he knows that Jessica is my sister. So when I learned that he was born in 1990, I said "Ah, and Jessica was born 2 years later, in 1992." At that, Fabrice whips out his Rwandan ID card and shows me that he was also born in 1992. I totally did not believe this…I thought Fabrice was at least 19 years old, so I was really shocked. It turns out his birthday is exactly one week before Jess's. When I told him this, he said "Ah! I can marry her?" Everybody cracked up, me especially. I responded with "You want to marry my sister?
Sure, I guess you can." I told him that I will tell her about this conversation and that she will find it hilarious. He wants me to tell Jess that he is very strong and muscley, apparently, as he did not have the words to describe this, only manly bodybuilder-type guestures. Then I mentioned that she has a boyfriend, and he got all mad. He said "No, don't tell me that. Perhaps she will have to choose, and she will choose me!" This conversation snowballed into a discussion about dowry in the U.S., and if people give money or a cow (that's what they do here), and I could see that there was division in the group about who thinks the dowry is a good thing and who thinks its like you're paying for a wife. Stany joined the wife-quest and asked me if I had another sister, and upon hearing no, asked if I have a cousin that he can marry. Again hearing no, he asked me if I am going to become a Sister, and upon hearing no asked if I will find a husband in Rwanda. When I said no, Fabrice asked if I have a boyfriend or husband at home. He was very confused about how I can say that I'm not looking for a husband here, yet not have one waiting for me at home. It was seriously such a loud, laughter-filled, strange discussion. I closed it by saying "No, I did not come to Rwanda to find a husband, and I also did not come to Rwanda to find wives for all of you!"
Later that evening, I was relaxing in my room, just typing some emails and was already in my pj's. I guess I figured that New Year's Eve wasn't a very big deal here as it is at home, and I was pretty tired so I was content to just stay at home and go to bed soon. Well, around dinner time, Sr. Charlotte called me and said "Are you coming? We are at the Father's, we were all invited there." So I changed back into some clothes and went. It was a small gathering of the Fathers of Muhato, the Sisters, 2 Sisters of St. Bonaface and a few people who work for the parish. The really cool thing was that I realized how comfortable I felt being there. I really didn't know the Sisters of St. Bonaface or the other parish people that well, but I had seen them all before and had met most of them. I just felt so at home and was really enjoying the company of everyone there, along with the nice mix of Christmas and random English songs playing on the radio. So it was very nice to realize that I'm past the "guest" phase; now I'm here to stay :) We had a nice meal of some strange skewered meat that, honestly, did not taste good. I couldn't get past the fact that it was tied on the skewer with something that had to be cartilage or intestines or some other chewy part of the animal. But I ate it anyways. We also had igitoki and fries, and a plethora of wines and other drinks to choose from.
The best, best, best part of my new year's eve came after the meal. One of the parish worker people brought in the electronic keyboard that the parish had recently purchased. He plays at Mass, all the songs from memory. I should actually mention that all the music is from memory. There are maybe one or two people in the choir who have a notebook with the lyrics, and they hold it up so other choir members can see. But the members of the congregation sing along without hymnals or anything, just their minds. Its awesome. So, this man says he will play for us. Without any hesitation whatsoever, Fr. Antoine says the fist song must be "Twese turi abawe," as this is the only song I know the words to. We all laughed, the others agreed, and he began to play. I sang with a huge smile on my face. I was overjoyed, and I freakin' love this song. Even moreso now that it has this fond memory attached to it. Then, the next song also happened to be one that I know almost all the words to! Even more, it was the one that Martha and I had sang and danced to earlier in the day! Now for this one, everybody stood up and danced. It was so cool – priests and nuns singing their hearts out, doing the traditional Rwandan steps and raising their arms in the air with elegant wrist action. And I most certainly joined in! The woman sitting next to me, one of the parish workers, gave me an approving nod. How providential it is that I would have a friend teach me to do this dance, and then be given the opportunity to do it again later as a thanksgiving for the year 2009! It was positively incredible. The rest of the songs I could not sing along to, but I clapped and danced occasionally. We had this holy dance party for probably an hour.
It was the best thing ever…people in Rwanda really have a beautiful ability to just let their happiness shine.
Women
14 years ago
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